Inverse Cowgirl, by Alicia Roth Weigel

“The coolest shit in life exists on the border…”

Alicia Roth Weigel was told she’d been born with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome. She grew up hiding the fact she didn’t menstruate and would never have a biological child. Not until her twenties, when she saw a story in Vogue magazine, did she discover the word intersex—the missing piece of her identity. 

Weigel’s debut memoir Inverse Cowgirl centers her experience as a woman who is intersex, her adventures in advocating for human rights, and the gifts and challenges that come with a bipolar diagnosis. Of all the memoirs I’ve been most anticipating this fall, I dove into this one specifically because I’d never read a memoir by an author who is intersex. 

Just when I thought I was getting lost in the narrative of her early nomadic years, Weigel landed in Texas where her true vocation took root. You’d think she wouldn’t last in a conservative state that actively tries to pass legislation denying her existence. Instead, she owns the work of her new frontier, bridging the gap between male and female, her conservative family and liberal comrades, and even between opposing sides of the Texas State Legislature. As she so aptly notes, y’all is the perfect gender neutral word.

Weigel taught me there are almost as many people who are born intersex into the world as there are people who are born with red hair—about 2% of the population. This goes without saying, but for those who need a reminder, she writes, “Just like how being gay isn’t a disorder, being intersex is a naturally occurring phenomenon.”

It turns out, there are several memoirs in the world by authors who are intersex, including Nobody Needs to Know by Pidgeon Pagonis and XOXY by Kimberly Zieselman. Weigel herself is also in the recent film Every Body (currently streaming on Netflix), a documentary following the lives of three thriving intersex adults who are advocating to end the secrecy and non-consensual surgeries many intersex children are made to endure.

Even after her brave coming out story, Weigel admits to still feeling too intersex for cis-women circles, but too heteronormative for queer spaces. Hence, her clearly stated target audience: “I’m writing this for everyone who doesn’t fit neatly into a box, who’s always felt ‘too’ this or ‘not enough’ that.” As a queer person who still strongly passes as heteronormative, I’m proud to claim my spot in her readership.

Inverse Cowgirl is one of those books that lays it all on the line, a sometimes winding, unruly line that resembles more of a lasso, but ultimately gets to the very important point. Weigel knows exactly who she’s writing to and for. “If there’s one thing I hope everyone who reads this book walks away with, intersex or not, it’s this: I urge each of y’all to tune your own vibration too, rather than living in vain by trying to ride someone else’s frequency.”

Inverse Cowgirl is a must-read for anyone looking to understand why the I in LGBTQIA+ matters for us all.

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