I’ve never met or even been in the same room with author Athena Dixon, but we both hail from Northeast Ohio. I was born about an hour from her hometown before the military swept my family elsewhere. This tenuous, reaching physical connection between writer and reader couldn’t be more relevant to the theme of her latest work The Loneliness Files.
Out today from Tin House Books, Dixon’s new memoir-in-essays explores the ways we’ve become hyper-connected and yet so physically isolated. I first discovered her writing at the 2020 virtual launch for her book of essays The Incredible Shrinking Woman, published by Split Lip Press. Given my interest in reducing my use of social media, the irony is not lost on me that I found her event via Twitter, the hijacked platform I recently quit. That tension between the wish to withdraw and the desire to connect is what attracted me to her latest book.
“I am overwhelmingly lonely. And I cannot believe that doesn’t matter and I will not believe there are not scores of others like me.” Athena Dixon, The Loneliness Files
True to its title, the The Loneliness Files deep-dives into loneliness, a condition that was amplified for so many people during the COVID-19 lockdowns. As a single, middle-aged writer living hundreds of miles from her family during that time, Dixon could go for days without seeing a human in person. In the aftermath of the pandemic, scores of people remain alone thanks to our increasingly digital existence through social media, remote work, streaming entertainment, and online dating.
Dixon’s memoir in essays happens to be an intriguing companion for a reflective night at home. The book is divided into three parts, each paired with recommended songs to listen to while reading. She opens looking at three women who died alone and whose stories ended up in the news. Gazing as if into a mirror, she tries to assess whether or not she sees herself in these people, forgotten and isolated in their own homes. She wonders, could she end up that way? And is her particular circumstance of loneliness a consequence of her own decisions and preferences?
The rest of the book makes clear she’s had help getting to her state of physical disconnect. Rom coms have hijacked her sense of what a romantic relationship should look like. Dating apps, with their features that gloss over people’s flaws and enable prejudices, prove alienating. Employment and therapy are remote. And connection through social media is a double-edged sword, sometimes inciting the wrath of the online mob or a rogue troll.
“I know how Truman feels seeing the veil slip—how the world sometimes seems to glitch—and I can see something isn’t quite right before I’m distracted again.” Athena Dixon, The Loneliness Files
I especially love her reflections on social media—its known downsides and her sometimes hesitant, other times enthusiastic participation. While she doesn’t offer clear answers to the tension, her analysis of The Truman Show delivers insights into the way marketing works in social media and beyond, which gave me fuel for weighing the balance in my own habits.
Dixon anchors herself and her narrative in her real-life community of family, whom she remains connected to in spite of the distance and relentless passing of time. Thank you to Tin House for the digital advance reader copy. My physical pre-order arrived today. It’s one I expect I’ll read more than once.
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